Made it to Colorado!

I tell you, Mom’s Cadillac purrs like a kitten on the open road… it eats up the highway like a hot-wing lunch:


I thought ahead and put all my belongings in crates so that they were easy to pack into the car and easy to take out:

there are three whole foods near me, all 4.5 miles or so away… now the only question is: where’s the ganja since it’s legal here!!!

Just one breath; primal urge

I do the breath counting up to 10 as instructed once per day. However at other times, I simply count to 1 in each of the ways instructed. It feels good to have a sense of accomplishment and gradually increase the count to 2 and then 3, etc.

It seems I am becoming aware of my thinking. I just came back from the grocery store and I had this urge to whip my head around and look at every single woman around me with thoughts of copulating with them. I suppose these things normally happen but I am not in tune with my low-level thinking. Repression certainly isnt the solution to this situation. What do you think I should/shouldnt do about the basic fact that a woman’s body beckon’s a male (even a homosexual male) into intercourse for the purpose of furthering life on this planet?

Moments in Baduk (8k)

Unsure of the Best Move…

So I’m at a move in this game:

and I’m not sure what to play. But let’s think about it:

  1. He just played B17 and I almost had a knee-jerk reaction to fiddle around with that group over there. But the main thing of importance is his R12 group… it is not settled and if I molest it properly, I can benefit, but how?
  2. What move would you play and why?

Is this Game Over?

I like playing people around my strength. In this game, the person is much stronger than me and at this point I feel lost:

I am pre-pinched if I play C6. He has a big corner. Actually 2 big corners. One of my corners is unsettled and the extension along the left leaves a lot of gaps for invasion? Should I resign? what should I play?


What is the real master power?

My friend Kristin has a way of stimulating my thought, she posted this cute thing:

If we incorporate the attitude “I am just an instrument in God’s hands,” then the burden of karma will fall away from us entirely. Only when a pen is in someone’s hands can it write letters. It does not write on its own. So too it is with a paintbrush. It does not paint on its own. Someone has to hold it to paint. We have to be like a pen or a brush in the hands of the Divine.” ––Amma (Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi) #tbt

And of course, I abreacted at first, not wanting to be a zombie for God, wanting to say “I CREATE MY REALITY” (ok where’s the beachside mansion with the blonde in a bikini?!) but fearful of public outlash against negativity, I instead questioned: “What is this god? What is this master power”? And was certain I had compiled a list, but cannot find it, so here we go:

  1. Impermanence: “What rises must fall, all component things disintegrate, whatever is born must die. All meetings end in separation.” – The Sutra of the Wise and Foolish.
  2. Balance – “If you need one word for me, it is Balance. Two words, rhythmic balance. Three words: rhythmic balance interchange of apparent opposites.” – Walter Russell, the Divine Iliad
  3. Consciousness
  4. Awareness
  5. Prana
  6. Qi
  7. Joy
  8. Loving Kindness
  9. Love
  10. Kundalini
  11. God
  12. Allah
  13. Yahweh
  14. The Psychedelic *is* the Creator – is the Flesh of God – Teonanactl – so says The Temple of the True Inner Light
  15. Utter nothingness – the life static particle beyond space and time, but capable of postulating space and time – so says L. Ron Hubbard and the various offshoot movements of Scientology. Quite a good and powerful system if you get the practice from a pure source outside the Church.
  16. Orgasm
  17. Sex
  18. Connection
  19. The Divine – what the hell is that?
  20. Juramidam – the gigantic (and real as hell) spirit that manifests when you consume the holy Daime (ayahuasca) from the Santo Daime Organization.
  21. Cannabis
  22. I.S.L.A.M.

Metatronia session

This morning I received a Metatronia session from Denise Higgison at 6:15am. Earlier that morning, I had a rather unusual dream that ended with a person’s face morphing into 2 other faces, the middle face being similar to my father.

Then after getting some logistics out of the way with Denise via text, I went back to sleep. I awoke with some rather unusual discomfort in the liver/gall bladder area – not sharp pain, but more like a wall of discomfort.

Anyway, at 6:15am I got up to an alarm and put myself in a receptive state, which is of course harder for the masculine, because the masculine is wired for being on the defensive. But as soon as I did, something very high frequency started rippling on my skin. It was very unusual. But I kept remaining receptive, while at the same time my mind was saying: “you are about to be possessed. stop this” but I figured Denise had everything under control and continued.

So I kept opening up and must say it was something I would like to try again sometime.

Disinformation’s Greatest Hits (The Red Pill)

I have freed 100 slaves but the truth is, I could free 1,000 more if they knew they were slaves.

— Harriet Tubman

I only tell you the half, for if I were to tell you the whole, you would go back to sleep.

— Noble Prophet Drew Ali

This is a brief capsule into all the things I am finding out… there is de jure (what actually is) and de facto (the illusion that most believe). So let’s list a few:

Deep Questions

Automatic biological organism vs. Me: return to the childhood state

(posted to dhamma sukha yahoo group)

I am mystified by my life as a young child:
  1. Once as a young child, “Terrence” stepped into a bed of red ants and they stung “Terrence” and “Terrence” was screaming and crying. But the interesting thing is that even though Terrence was engaging in all of those behaviors and experiences, “I” was not in agony. I.e., I am drawing a distinction between the behaviors of the biological organism and me and I’m wondering if continued practice of TWIM returns one to a state where the biological organism is still engaging in its behaviors but there is no “Me” there to agonize over the outcome of it’s actions.
  2. As a young child, i was not always there with my body, yet it seemed to get along safely anyway. E.g., I would find myself in the cafeteria eating lunch. Then I would drop out of contact with the body and find myself in a math class. Then the next time I would pay attention to my body, I would be getting on a school bus to go home. Observation: the biological organism probably had a continuous set of actions and managed to behave in a socially acceptable fashion and not get physically injured even though “I” was not there every minute thinking about what the biological organism should do and say to be socially acceptable and avoid physical injury to itself. Question: does continued practice of TWIM lead to a state free of attention on the biological organism practicing TWIM, yet the biological organism continues to function safely and socially acceptably?