So how are you doing?

– financially – My income is $5000/mo from my job and my spending is $7500/mo… miraculously, I am not overdrawn and in fact have 4K in the bank.

– spiritually: doing some Izunome but primarily focused on the integration of diet with spiritual clearing as discussed in Klaus Wolfram: “Fruits: Best of All Foods”

– personally: very lonely here in Florida. Ready to go home to my parents. havent seen them in 2-3 years.

– professionally: working as computer programmer remotely. Get to set my own hours and work on my home businesses

– emotionally: I wake up feeling way more limited in my havingness and my sense of beingness is very underachieved. But the first step to improving is to see where you are and decide where to go next. I have never been persistent in my goal to build my home business. I just played around with it, talked to a few friends but was never organized and professional. Now is the time to work it seriously for my benefit and the benefit of the company growth.

– mentally: the proper diet is making it possible to be aware of my dream patterns

– diet: following what Klaus Wolfram wrote in “Fruit: Best of All Foods”. fooled around with other raw diets. Saw that I was trying to satisfy myself with things I could not naturally obtain and so of course my body was sub-optimal as was my mind and emotions. The belly is the bridge or block between the lower and higher. And mine is blocked up, backed up, constipated and basically what most Americans think is OK and average and standard. Permanent Cosmic Orgasm can be had with the clearing of this area. But receiving Johrei from the Izunome Association also opens me up to Cosmic Orgasm (as Joshua Rainbow spoke about in Biotrophic Protocol) – it has been fun to feel trapped in a clay body with limits and needs but it is driving me to the brink of frustration. I want to be FOREVER HIGH and have to put in the time to make the belly a permanent bridge between lower and higher.

– sexuality: non-existent. There is a girl that I have a strong resonance with. Her name is Tiffany Davis. Thing is, she smokes cigarettes and is a Christian. And she eats meat. So I think we wont’ be able to support each other in our life paths. So I need to curtail my urge to be intimate with her. And help her out in other ways. This is going to be hard, especially since she is black and I have not had a black woman in a long time…

– big questions: will my computer company employ me next quarter starting in January?

– big concerns: will my company make me a permanent employee so that I have piece of mind about primary income while I form my secondary income through Lyoness?

– where do you see yourself in the next week: that kind of depends. I could be here in Florida or in Georgia with my parents.

– where do you see yourself in the next month: hopefully Dr. Stubbs will have registered her restaurant with our home business by then and we will be rolling on building the business.

– where do you see yourself in the next year: have talked to at least 2 merchants per month about the beauty power and elegance of my home business

– where do you see yourself in the next 5 years: 2 local businesses will be registered in my home business  thanks to me and I should have about 2000 to 5000 customers shopping for me every month!

– where do you see yourself in the next 10 years: returned to my true love, the floatation tank

– where do you see yourself in the next 20 years: finished the religious documents on my floatation tank RELIGION- yes RELIGION – not spiritual system. Tired of people who act like one is better than the other!!!

– where do you see yourself in the next 50 years: hopefully still rather mobile due to no longer trying to entertain myself with spurts of joy from eating the wrong foods. How sex will figure into my life is to be seen – I have felt Cosmic Orgasm simply from sitting still and receiving Johrei. So it is definitely possible to do it without diet. But I am certain once my channels clear up, it will be a constant state.


– financially – amazingly I am doing well. I have a work from home computer job which allows me plenty of time to focus on my home business. It pays less than an office job, but I have to find a true 2nd source of income with real retirement potential

– spiritually – getting serious about Buddhism. Tired of leaning on other people and technologies. Theravada buddhism is simple affordable and a good challenge!

– personally – here alone in Orlando, FL. Just drove across country from California… and right through Waller County, TX. Boy was I afraid of going through Mississippi and Alabama, but no real problems.

– professionally – i work as a computer programmer. But my home businesses are starting to gain ground. I think the main thing is focus. I am listening to subliminal programming tapes to increase my BEINGness and I am reading “Science of Getting Rich” which is an amazing book.

– emotionally – I got my ass burned by Marilyn at Lafayette Morehouse. She was very insulting ot me. Now, the real question is: why am I still crying over it 2 weeks later?? I thought you controlled your thoughts?!

– mentally – hard to say

– diet – I’ve watched plenty of animal slaughter videos and really dont need to be involved in that whole rigamarole. Thank you, but I’ll pass. I want to thank jenny dawn pulford of south africa/australia for bringing animal cruelty to my awareness. Paradoxically, she actually still consumes animals herself. But that’s all you get when you start thinking is paradox. As Robert Adams said: the purpose of the mind is to confuse things.

– sexuality – hmm, what sexuality. Having experienced Lafayette Morehouse and OneTaste, I think I prefer OneTaste. About Orgasmic Meditation coming from Lafayette, well time is not linear and Lafayette has a much older crowd. I think Nicole did a good job of creating “morehouse 2.0”

– big questions – will the top MLM recruiter I have joined forces with here in Florida go to the top of Lyoness like she did in LegalShield?

– big concerns – will I be able to last here financially for 3 months to get my home business established and flourishing?

– where do you see yourself in the next week – at a BNI meeting

– where do you see yourself in the next month – having talked to 2 or 3 SMEs about joining as a group of 5 so we can get a discount on registering in Lyoness.

– where do you see yourself in the next year – doing very well with Kangen Water and Lyoness!!!

– where do you see yourself in the next 5 years – a monk maybe , a celibate monk offering isoaltion tank services or buddhist services

– where do you see yourself in the next 10 years – perfectly happy with no need for a woman (and certainly not a man!). you know, a celibate yogi type. hmm, then again, maybe I will deepen my Orgasmic meditation practice… hmmm… hmmm.

– where do you see yourself in the next 20 years

– where do you see yourself in the next 50 years – dead!


Two levels of awareness on animal slaughter

Now, thanks to Lafayette Morehouse, I am finally unravelling the concept of “Two Levels of Awareness” – on one level, yes I am everything and I am the Creator of all that I experience due to my causative thinking. But on another level, I need to quit acting like certain things are not happening and face up to the nastiness and cruelty of animal slaughter.

It seems like I go in a cycle of avoiding animals, indulging. I just came from Publix. I planned to just get a veggie sub. But my eyes landed on the catfish, then I saw the chicken tenders, and then the beef roast. I got them all. But I also went home and watched animal slaughter videos. I retched on the chicken tenders as I saw how chickens are treated. I put the beef roast and fish in my refrigerator. I simply could not eat the tenders. I threw them out.

So yes, on 1 level this is a big game that I created for my fun and the slaughter is not real and my body is not real. But guess what? I have not purified my mind and I would suffer greatly. And animal slaughter is a violation of the Golden Rule. Although in some sense animals are just robots that react. They dont suffer. But I could keep making excuses forever…

Extended Stay Orlando: A Saga of 3 Hotels

I arrived into Orlando, FL a few days ago. I drove from California to Florida and made it in 2.5 days! Cool, then I began to look for a place to stay, preferably just one place to stay for the next 3 months.

The first place I went to was the Extended Stay America in Northern Orlando at Equity Row. I will never stay there again. I stayed one night. The refrigerator had dents in it. The elevator had trash on the floor. And then there was a false alarm at night. No problem there. But the problem was the exit signs for vacating by stairs pointed the wrong way. And this was not due to resident tampering – they simply pointed the wrong way. Like a confused herd of cattle, we all went storming the wrong way, only to have an attendant send us a different way.

So I packed up my belongings and tried to juggle working during the day and trying to find a place to stay. I looked at a number of places. A whole lot. I ended up at Knights Inn Maingate. It had a homey feel to it. Boy, was I a sucker. The rooms had the AC blasting in them for a reason – to cover up the musty funk coming from the carpet or rotting wood. And pointing the air conditioner right at the bed? A true work of brilliance. And why didnt they have the person in the room next to me remove his shirts from the vents outside the room? Dont they know that looks ghetto? And why was the guy in the room next to me thrashing all over the room like he was doing crossfit training or something, occasionally slamming into the wall? I requested a move around 2 in the morning and the dude said: “I’m sorry the computer is closing out for the night and I cant do that.” So I glared around and paced a bit, you know, the “I’m going to cancel this and get a refund if you dont get your ass in gear” look. And what do you know, he managed to get me another room in 5 minutes!

But anyway, I have now landed safe and sound at InTown Suites Orlando, FL – these are very nice units with a reasonable price and everything you could ask for – 42 inch TV with about 50 channels, 2-burner stove, fridge, large walk-in shower. A bit of stupidity with pointing the AC right at the bed, but nothing my guitar and a bag and a t-shirt couldnt handle.


A Turning Point in My Spiritual Career

So this weekend, I went to Lafayette Morehouse on my continual amble through the landscape of sacred sexuality. May 10, 2014 (about 1.5 years ago) I was financially free and I had a choice to make. I was ready to go to a Buddhist retreat center in West Virginia, but then a message came through from a teacher of HAI (a sacred sexuality group) regarding Orgasmic Meditation.

So, having done some HAI, I resolved to investigate Orgasmic Meditation. I spent 1 year doing OM, in Boston, New York and Northern California. I observed the people, took some coaching, etc. Eventually, I got wind of the fact that Nicole Daedone (founder of Orgasmic Meditation and ONeTaste) had studied at a place called Lafayette Morehouse. So I went there as well. I took a few courses.

Everywhere I went, I could only think about Buddhism. I could only ask question after question about craving and aversion. I would listen to people talk about being in love and wonder how it differed from loving-kindness. I saw childish behavior. I saw powerful people out of control. But above and beyond all this about others, I saw a ME who needed others to be happy. I really thought that i could chase women, etc and give myself happiness. And in fact, many people are happy there, but many are still slaves to their environment and running around chasing desire and trying to overlook some very basic facts about life on earth:

  1. Life on Earth is fundamentally based on manipulating others against their will – just look at diet.

But anyway, all I can say is a regular practice of OM led to a me who really was no happier – I was still full of all sorts of mental impurities.

I really cant remain enamoured of Buddhist philosophy anymore. I cant keep chasing groups with ill-defined terminology. I cant keep hoping others will do this and that so that I can be happy and even if I did, my happiness could change any moment based on their actions.

And diet – why do I burden my body with un-natural foods? I will tell you why. Because I substitute food for being a sexually deprived being. I need that rush of sensation. And then I pay with a body spending hours trying to digest the cooked solids. Now, at the highest level, it really doesn’t matter what you eat AND i am not trying to eat my way to God, even though I am heavily convinced by the books Biotrophic Protocol and Fruits: Best of All Foods. But I need my alertness and cooked unchewed food in a body lacking regular exercise just bloats me. I have it down to fruit juice and nuts and I dont have any nutritional reason to eat anything else.

So given my love for the structure and clarity of Theravada Buddhism coupled with the simplicity of the practice and the humor of Ajahn Brahm, I can no longer continue to go to these various Sacred Sexuality things and keep comparing them to Buddhism and keep criticizing them for chasing their cravings.


At least until I get a tank and can be by myself. I distrust all churches and groups. But perhaps I can trust a 2500 year old path mainly based on my personal practice.


– financially

I just starting using an online budget program. My income from
computer programming $4500 but my spending each month is $2000 to
$6000 more than that.

Screenshot –

It’s sobering when you actually see the numbers right in front of your

My mom wants me to work on improving the budget, but there really is
no hope. I need more income and I actually need exponentially growing
income because some of the compound interest from credit cards keeps

– spiritually

Hmm, I’m enjoying my studies with Lafayette Morehouse, the people who
gave Nicole Daedone the ideas for OneTaste and Orgasmic Meditation. I
became interested in doing TR-0 and reconnected with Harold Ruder to
see about doing that.

My main thing is floatation tanks because you can do it all by

I got banned from the Palo Alto Orgasmic Meditation community. They
kicked me out without really explaining why.

– personally

I’m very lonely in California. I’m all by myself out here. I’m glad to
be leaving on Sept 1 or earlier.

– professionally

Lyoness has been around all this time, but I never had the training on
how to properly present it. It really is time to create additional
income streams beyond programming. At the same time, I need a
programming job that pays $70 to 90 per hour instead of the $45 per
hour I’m getting now. The advantage of the current job is that I get
to work remotely, which gives me time to pour into networking with my
home business.

– emotionally

I live with other 5 people. I’m paying $1300 for 1 bedroom in a
5-bedroom house. That’s a lot of money. But I think I am just frozen
over emotionally because I dont want to get too self-interested in
this group situation.

– mentally

Theoretically, I’m about to blow the lid off of Lyoness because I have
some strong networkers added to my team. But it’s wise not to count
chickens before they hatch.

– diet

I saw an animal slaughter video. Man, oh man. Should I ever eat meat

– sexuality

Um, what sexuality? I personally choose not to pursue any homosexual
activity. It’s easy to get and women are hard to get, but I dont want
to be involved in homosexual activity.

– big questions

None. I realize that I am involved in deficit spending, but I also see
no solution in a single steady paycheck. The key is exponential growth
through an ever-expanding network of people or through compounded
returns from investments. I am pursuing all of them aggressively. I am
pouring every dime into gaining wealth and not saving or budgeting to
simply pay bills for the next 20-40 years.

I dont want to be a part of the 40-40-40 plan: work for 40 hours per
day for 40 years, and then retire on 40% of what you used to make when
you could barely live on 100% of it!

– big concerns

I’m afraid of driving back across the country from California to South
Carolina because of the police brutality I have witnessed. I do
believe that I create my reality, but at the same-time I am afraid of
being harrassed by the cops.

– where do you see yourself in the next week

working on my Lyoness materials. Taking the “Man/woman” course at
lafayette morehouse. I think this course is going to blow my mind. It
will really tell me how women think and what they really want and how
they want it. I’ve lived 45+ years and still dont know how to relate
to a woman. I also dont know if I have enough time to change my
thought patterns for that. I might have deeper things to take care of.

– where do you see yourself in the next month

I should be in Texas by Sept 2 to shake the hands of some major
contacts in network marketing who will build my Lyoness business.

– where do you see yourself in the next year

I should have a healthy income from Lyoness by then.

– where do you see yourself in the next 5 years

My focus will be on my Isolation Tank religion by then.

– where do you see yourself in the next 10 years

Hopefully with very little need for food or sex – I think I will be
constantly orgasmic at all times.

– where do you see yourself in the next 20 years

More isolation tank fun. Maybe 5 wives, one of each race.

– where do you see yourself in the next 50 years

Dead as a doornail 😉

I think a good question for this update is: what do you see as your
major personality defect? For me, my personality defect is that I do
my best to be misunderstood and to have something that is valuable
that others cannot understand. This leads to frustration and lack of
success because they cannot see the brilliance.

Dries Cancer Diet Food List

The Dries Diet System


The Dries cancer diet is based largely upon the consumption of raw fruits, mostly tropical fruit such as pineapple and mango, as well as certainraw vegetables, seeds and condiments such as yoghurt, buttermilk and some oils. The basis of the selection of these foods is their bio-energetic value measured in bio photons, which apparently have an effect upon resistance to cancer.

The author defends in his book that the diet is based mainly on bio-energy for studies have been made where it is possible to prove the presence of bio photons or units of light in vegetable organisms. It was also proved that those bio photons are stored in DNA.

According to Jan Dries the quality of a foodstuff is mainly determined by the amount of bio photons it contains. Bio photons are units of lightthat are found in living organisms, as opposed to photons, which may be found elsewhere.

He says that upgrading and chemical cultivation of foodstuffs are true dangers to bio photons as are processing, conserving and storing of foodstuffs.

He also believes that humans and other animals are not calorie – eaters but absorbers of light.

He explains that a part of the solar energy that plants absorb and that is not used for photosynthesis is stored in the DNA. When we eat plants that absorbed solar energy it ends up in our bodies, where it helps the entire organism function in a way we cannot yet explain.

Jan says that the quality of a foodstuff depends on its ability to store and retain light energy. Not only the nutritional value but also the healing power of a foodstuff depends on the amount of light energy that is retained in the plant.

He believes that the human is a kind of light absorber and that light makes our cells function, but the human is also tied to matter. Energy is converted to matter.

The energy that is taken in by the organism is used for energetic recovery.

Jan defends that the human cells function on light energy, information is passed and assignments are carried out at a speed of light.

The role of light in the composition of foodstuffs 

Jan Dries explains in his book that a close look at a plant will reveal an antenna structure; plants are structured in a way that they are capable of absorbing as much light as possible. Plants grow in the direction of the light. Sunny leaves are completely different from shadow leaves; theshadow leaves are thinner and less mature.

He says that in flowers or blossoms, the antenna structure is even more obvious. Flowers and blossoms are tiny biological radars, the colours are also fascinating, but the delicate structure of the stamens and pistils is incredible.

Jan believes that even more than leaves, flowers are light absorbers and light means energy.

After pollination, the beautiful flowers wither, but the enormous amount of light energy that has been gathered passes to the fruit.

In Jan’s opinion tropical fruits have a high bio-energetic value and that is the reason why tropical fruits are so important in the Dries diet.

He says that cactus fruits and bilberries grow in the wild. Pineapples, raspberries and cherries can hardly be improved.

In this diet the fruits that belong to the first group are quite natural fruits.

Apples, oranges, pears and plums, have been improved that is why they belong to the other groups.

According to the author The Dries diet is based on the following reasoning: if we want to give cancer patients a better chance of recovery, the best foodstuffs available must be used. That is why it is advised not to use agricultural products during the recovery process. The best food is the living food that has not undergone any treatment.

The composition of the Dries Diet 

The diet is divided into seven groups, according to their biological energetic value.  The first group consists of the foodstuffs that according to Jan have a very high bio-energetic value. These foodstuffs are essential in this diet in order to obtain good results. Groups II and III consist of foodstuffs that are of considerable importance. The IV, V, VI and VII are considered complementary. The fruits of the last groups were included by Jan because he believes they give the diet variety and make it a lot more attractive. He advises to use only the foodstuffs of the diet. The foodstuffs are divided into seven groups and classified as fruits, nuts/seeds, vegetables and other sources.

 Jan considers fruit as the most important part of this diet but also by eating everything raw cleans the entire organism.  He says that cooked food, even a small amount disrupts the important cleansing process and that the cleaner the food, the more bio-energy is stored. In his opinion cooked food is characterized by disrupted bio-energy; this means that the body has to repair that bio-energy to make it useful. That implies an enormous loss of the energy that is needed in the recovery process.

 Group I

Pineapple, Cactus fruit, Avocado, Raspberry, Honeydew melon, Pollen, Comb honey

Group II

Bilberry, Kiwi, Cherry, Persimmon, Apricot, Melon, Mango, Papaya, Almonds, Chervil, Mushrooms, Honey

Group III

Feijoa, Red and blackcurrant, Strawberry, Lychee, Passion fruit, Red and green grapes, Medlar, Peach, Sunflower seeds, Pumpkin seeds, Wheat germ, Germinated wheat, Sprouts, Liquid brewer’s yeast, Panaktiv – Dr Metz

Group IV

Banana, Gooseberries, Green melon, Brazil nut, Coconut, Vegetables, Dairy products

Group V

Oranges, mandarins, apples, pears, plums and grapefruit. (these fruits are considered as supplements.)


This group consists of popular vegetables that are used has supplements.

Group VII

This group gathers several foodstuffs that are used for preparing a meal. – avocados, nuts and seeds are the best suppliers of fat, because they contain fat in an organic structure.

Jan Dries studied biological medicine at the Heipraktikersschule in Solingen in Germany (1977), and specialized himself in nutritional therapy in association with the Avicenna Health Centre in Genk. Since then he has met and worked with thousands of people in search of a better diet.

Jan Dries has been the chairman of the Executive Board of the European Academy of Complementary Medicine in Antwerp and Ghent (Belgium) and Utrecht and Maastricht (Holland).

He is also chairman of the Vegetarian Society and the New Life Society, and founder of the Association of Naturopaths; and he holds distinguished offices in a number of other associations.

He has published several books and many pamphlets on the subject of health with remarkable reputation. In addition to his work on nutrition, he has also made important contributions to disciplines as bio-energy, herbal and natural medicine, relaxation therapy and reflexology.

He has treated many cancer patients with his “Dries Cancer Diet”, a method that has gained him international renown.


Kyped from  2001 Wayback Archive

Johnny Story by Vic Baranco

Reproduced from Lafayette Morehouse

The Johnny Story

by Vic Baranco

This article originally appeared in Aquarius in December 1969. The Aquarius was a magazine published by the Institute of Human abilities at various times since the late ’60’s.

This is a story, like a fable or parable. We’re not asking you to believe it or anything, just ask yourself, “Hey, what if things are really like this?” If there’s part of it you don’t agree with, there’s just part of it you don’t agree with.

Johnny is driving home one night. He’s 47, graying at the temples, wears a snap-brimmed hat, drives a brand new Buick station wagon. He pulls up his winding driveway into the carport, gets out, locks the car, walks up the flagstone stairs to his stone and glass and wood house. He walks in the front door, past the sunken living room, up the carpeted, wrought-iron staircase to the second floor, past the bedrooms where his kids are sleeping, walks through the master bedroom, past his sleeping wife and into his den. He takes off his coat and his hat and his tie and he puts on a smoking jacket, opens up the desk drawer, takes out a package of cigarettes and takes one cigarette out and puts the rest in the smoking jacket pocket. He lights it, stands in front of the window, takes a long drag and looks out the window. He snuffs out the almost new cigarette in the ashtray and reaches back into the drawer and pulls out a .38 Smith and Wesson, sticks the muzzle in his mouth and pulls the trigger.

The ambulance drivers have arrived and the doctor is in the master bedroom sedating the wife. There are two ambulance drivers: an old grizzly guy who’s been on the job for fifteen years and a young fresh kid who’s still pretty shook up when he sees blood and, of course, the victim is on the floor and there’s blood all over the walls and the back of his head is missing and it’s really pretty grizzly.

The younger fellow is sort of repulsed by the whole thing but the older fellow leans down and takes an almost new package of cigarettes out of John’s pocket, takes one out, lights it, puts it in his own mouth, puts the remainder of the package in his shirt pocket. The young fellow, examining the victim, looks up and says, “Hey, this guy is still alive. I know it’s freaky, but he’s still alive.” The older fellow says, “Well, don’t sweat it. By the time we get him to the hospital he’ll be dead.” So they load him into the basket and put him in the ambulance and drive to the hospital. As they’re backing up to the loading zone at the hospital emergency entrance, the resident on duty comes out and the young fellow says, “Hey, we’ve got a red blanket for you and he’s still alive but I don’t see how he’s going to make it.” The resident rushes him into surgery and the ambulance drivers go about their business.

About four o’clock that morning the ambulance drivers have their coffee break in the coffee shop of the hospital. The same doctor comes in and they call him over to have coffee with them. The doctor sits down and the young fellow says, “What happened to that red blanket that we brought you this morning?” The resident says, “Well, the laws on euthanasia being what they are you know, like mercy killing being illegal, we operated and he’s still alive if you can call it alive. The part of his brain which controls his ability to sense is destroyed. He’s incapable of sensing anything. He can’t see. He can’t smell. He can’t feel. We can keep him alive, probably indefinitely. We’ll lay him on fleece so he doesn’t get too many bedsores and we will turn him regularly, but it doesn’t really matter because if he gets bedsores, he can’t feel it, and if we heal them he’s not going to feel the relief of the healing. We’ll feed him intravenously, but he can’t feel hunger and he can’t feel the gratification of being fed.”

The young fellow says, “Wow, he’s just like a vegetable.” “And worse than that because there’s another part of his brain that may be destroyed too and it’s that part of his brain which controls memory… it’s gone. We have no way of checking it but I think that probably he has no memory.” The young fellow says, “You mean amnesia?” The resident replies, “No, amnesia is a phenomenon that takes place where the patient blocks out pieces of his memory and they may block out who they are and where they came from but they still remember how to tie shoes and they still remember the alphabet and how to do the multiplication tables. What I’m talking about is the total inability to remember his own existence. He doesn’t remember time or space. He doesn’t remember the existence of any portion of the universe.” The young fellow says, “Well, he’s dead then.” The resident says, “No, he’s alive; he still has the ability to deductively reason but he has nothing to deductively reason about. He still has the ability to postulate or conceptually think but he has nothing to conceptually think about. He has no reference point by which to create anything.”

The next scene is inside John’s head and the doctor was right. There is no memory. Inside Johnny’s head is nothing — nothing. He remembers nothing and he can sense nothing and there is no way to put anything back into that head. It was nothing beyond the point of nothing, void, void of the concept of void, in a place where nothing exists, that has no place. Just imagine it: nothing–no space, no area, no time. Nothing. He is not bored because he doesn’t have the concept of boredom, just nothing. He lays there but he doesn’t know he’s laying and he has no contact with what’s going on around the bed.

Then, uncaused, without cause, because cause and effect don’t exist and without effect because there’s nothing to be effect of, comes one thought and that’s the thought of more. Now we know that more can’t exist. Not in this time period. More cannot be achieved but with the concept of more, Johnny’s life has already become fuller. He does not have the concept of fuller but there’s something there for him to relate to even though he doesn’t know of his own existence. And more sits there and from more he deduces that existence exists because more exists. And from the data that more and existence exists, he deduces that he exists and all of a sudden, he has three arbitraries and he can relate those three arbitraries back and forth. The relationship between them is exciting and he has it that more does exist and that he does exist. After a while that’s not enough and he recognizes that he created one thing and from that one thing he got three.

So this time, he decides to invent an invention that has two arbitraries instead of one. This time, he invents cause and effect. Now he realizes that he has been total cause for the invention of existence and he has been total cause for the invention of his own existence, and he also recognizes that he’s been the total effect of all three of those things and that he is total cause and total effect. But all of a sudden he now has five things to relate with and after he plays with those for a while, he recognizes that there is a weird relationship that exists between cause and effect, a diametric relationship. And he applies that same diametric relationship to the three other concepts that he’s put together. He has more and now less, and he has existence and now nonexistence, and he has his own existence and his own lack of existence, and his life’s become full.

But after a while, it becomes dull again, so this time he decides to invent a concept that has three arbitraries instead of two. This time he invents a concept called time. Now all he’s really got is right now, but when he invents time, he invents it with three segments, the past, the future and now. In the past, he invented more and he invented existence, and his own existence, and cause and effect. He’s all cause and he’s all effect and he is the cause of time and he is the effect of time, and in the future he will invent more, and there will be more cause and there will be more effect. All of a sudden his life has expanded further and there are more things for him to do. His universe has gotten a little bigger and he plays with those things for a while. Then he decides that his inventions are fun for him because they produce excitement for him, and that the excitement comes from the apparent difference between his inventions.

So instead of inventing a thing that has four arbitraries, this time he decides to invent a thing predicated on some other standard, so he decides he’s going to invent space. But it’s a bitch to invent because nothing he’s invented so far has solidity and space can only exist in reference to solidity. So he finally finds that the only way he can invent space is to invent one single particle of matter, and that space is that area in which that particle of matter exists. And he really gets a feeling of accomplishment from finally having solved that problem.

He hurriedly relates his new concept of space to his other inventions, and he relates it to more space. Big deal. That’s not very exciting. He relates it to existence. Yeah, the particle exists and space exists but there’s not much change in either one. He relates it to his own existence and has almost no relationship because he doesn’t exist in solidity. He only exists conceptually and he doesn’t exist in space. He relates it to cause and effect and yes, he caused space and he is what little effect he is of space, but it’s not much. He’s beginning to feel like he’s losing because he put all that work into inventing space and it’s not producing anything for him. So finally, he relates space to time and it comes out flat again. But then he relates the single particle of matter to time and space. And he finds that if he puts that particle of matter in this time and this space, then he puts it at this time and this space, and this time and this space, and turns the crank real fast, he can get the illusion of movement. From the illusion of movement he can get the illusion of growth and expansion. Already his life has become richer and his universe has expanded further. He plays around with those for a while and then again it gets dull.

This time he decides that the name of the game is that he invents things that he can use as an adequate excuse to feel the experience of relating it to other things he’s invented. So this time he decides to invent a machine. The machine’s total purpose is to amplify the effect of the things he’s invented. It’s a sensing machine. The sensing machine just arbitrarily has five ways to sense the particle of matter and, in creating those five ways to sense, Johnny has also invented five qualities for the particle of matter. Then he has the machine sense that particle of matter. Because the machine is really just him, it’s just his invention, Johnny can feel through the machine what it’s like to sense a particle of solid matter.

It’s outta sight! He can have the experience of what it’s like to have tactile contact with something. And a bonus! Because, you see, he’s also the particle of matter and from the particle of solid matter, he can feel what it’s like to be sensed by a sensing machine. He’s getting both sides of the relationship. So he runs around and invents all other forms of solid matter for his machine to sense. He exploits the machine’s ability to sense in five ways. He makes them tall and short, soft and hard, salty and sweet, and red and blue, you dig it? He just invents a mass of things for the machine to sense.

But after a while, that gets dull, so this time he decides that what he’s going to do is invent another one of himself, to duplicate himself. He’s already recognized that the duplication of himself will accomplish nothing, that he must produce something that’s slightly different from what he is in order to have the relationship between the two things. So he invents another one of himself just like himself with all the inventions he has going, only this time he names the other thing Jane. And of course he gives Jane the sensing machine and he also give Jane all the particles of matter that he has. Then he tests it.

Through Jane, he can feel what it’s like to have Jane’s machine sense one of Jane’s particles of matter and through Jane he can feel what it’s like to be that particle of matter and be sensed by that sensing machine. It’s a groove!

Then he gets really involved and he has his sensing machine sense one of Jane’s particles of matter and through his sensing machine he can feel what it’s like to sense a foreign particle of matter. Through Jane he can feel what it’s like to have his particle of matter sensed by a foreign sensing machine and he’s getting it going in both ways. He has this one sense that one, and this one sense that one, and this one sense that one. And back and forth and his universe expands again, and it becomes fun.

As it gets dull, he produces a playing field for the machines to play on and he fills that playing field full of all different descriptions of things. He creates grass and trees and animals and rocks and liquid things and gaseous things and solid things and water and brooks…, just all sorts of things. He names the playing field Eden and he names Jane’s machine Eve and he names his machine Adam. Adam and Eve run around the playing field, tasting and touching, feeling and sensing, and they know that who they are is really Johnny and that what their purpose is, is to produce the illusion of excitement for Johnny. That’s their total purpose. But they’re really just Johnny. All there is to do is that thing and they do it.

And they ball, and they laugh, and there are no problems. It’s a paradise. But after a while Johnny gets bored, and so this time he decides he’s going to invent the final invention, the one that will alleviate his boredom forever. He works very hard to invent it and he finally gets it put together and he shapes it round and he paints it red and he hangs it in a tree and he calls it the apple of knowledge. As soon as they take one small bite of that apple of knowledge and claim ownership over that one small bite of knowledge, they produce for the first time mystery. And now Johnny can feel what it’s like to have a mystery.

He can feel through Adam and Eve what it’s like not to know what your purpose is. He can feel through Adam and Eve not to know who you are. He can feel through Adam and Eve that they still know that who they are is Johnny and that what they have is all the power in the world, and that what the whole thing was produced for was to produce the excitement that Johnny and they can get out of it, but they have to forget it. And they run around trying to find out who they are and who the divine being is, and what fruits are right to eat and which fruits are wrong to eat, and what’s the right way to walk across a stream and what’s the wrong way to walk across a stream.

Johnny’s getting all those reactions and, as it gets dull, he just expands it. It gets a little bigger, and finally after a while, it’s no longer flat. He makes it round and every time it gets a little dull he adds some more machines, or he adds some more arbitraries and it gets bigger. The universe not only expands by virtue of expansion, as we find out more about the planets and the way they relate to each other, but it also expands by virtue of contraction, as we find out more about the atoms and the way they relate to each other. Nobody ever really flashes that the relationship between the atoms and their molecules and the planets and their moons is just about the same relationship. End of the scene.

Now we’re going to zero back in and it’s the year 1970 now. We’re going to zero back in on that whole mechanism which is enormous by now. At one small spot, on highway number one headed south away from San Francisco down towards the Big Sur area, is a big blue Detroit boat with four people in it driving down the coast to a get-well center, a mental health spa and, as they’re going down they’re talking back and forth to each other about how they are victimized by their bosses, by their parents, by their kids, by their jobs, by their wives, by their husbands, by the goddamned car they’re driving, by the air they’re breathing, by the trees they’re passing, by the billboards they passing. Do you dig it?

They’re going down to find out what they have to do to get themselves right so they need not be victimized any longer. They go to the get-well center where there’s a big fat guru there with a beard who has them stand on their heads and contemplate their navel and drop funny pills and liberate their latent homosexual tendencies and get out from under their politeness and like, get in touch with their anger. And they take off their clothes and roll around in baths together.

At the end of the weekend they leave. They’re driving in the car back to the Bay Area and they’re talking. Now they recognize more clearly those places where they’re wrong and all they have to do now is go home and change those places where they’re wrong and then they can be right. One by one the driver drops the different passengers off at their different homes. Then he drives his big Buick station wagon to his own home, he parks it in the carport, he goes up the flagstone stairs, past the sunken living room and up the wrought iron staircase, past his kids’ room and into his own room. He puts on his smoking jacket and he goes into the den and he opens a package of cigarettes and he takes two hits and he puts it out. He reaches back into the drawer, pulls out a .38 Smith and Wesson, puts the muzzle in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.