To Asheville Polyamory Community
LOVE versus PREFERENCE. We are called poly-amory, but maybe I’m involved in poly-liking… I have to get technical to discuss this…
There are 2 ways to cover this topic, anecdotal and theoretical. I will start with theoretical. For anything you perceive with your 5 senses, the first impression is pure sensation, then a few instants later, one may decide that the sensation is good, bad or indifferent. If the sensation is “good”, then you try to persist it (in violation of The Great Law of Impermanence). If the sensation is “bad” then you try to resist or repel it (and therefore keep it around like the Vietnamese fly trap). Or you can be in pure neutrality and let it flow up and release.
So why is this important? Let’s be anecdotal. Today, I received two messages on Tinder. Although it is possible to “love” these people – unconditionally accept them and always act towards them with agape (loving-kindness), I sure as hell dont want to see them in my bed sheets anytime soon… in other words I do not *like* them. Therefore I am a poly-preference robot that seeks pleasure and avoids pain (in Theravada Buddha theory) instead of a Mother Theresa servant of The Profound Neutral who ceaselessly gave of herself for others regardless of how pretty or ugly they were.
The theoretical discussion I provided is called “The 12 Links of Dependant Arising” in Buddhism. Buddhists aim to transcend this cycle. I like to enter the cycle consciously in the name of having a game to play. But most of the time my subconscious implants have me caught in this samsaric will at the effect of deep samskaras.